


The Weight of Two Worlds

by yellowcurtains



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Great Isak, M/M, Sad Sana, Sana and Isak are great friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 17:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10927068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowcurtains/pseuds/yellowcurtains
Summary: Sana's mind doesn't seem to shut up. Good thing, Isak Valtersen is a good listener.Or, Sana and Isak talk about what she's been feeling all through out S4.





	The Weight of Two Worlds

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I'm back with a friendship story again because I love these two sweeties and I hope we see more of them in the second half of S4.  
> Also, this headcanon takes place before Yousef kissed Noora at the party but as I'm a bit (a lot) upset with him I didn't want to mention him too much on this fic.  
> I hope you guys like it :)

Isak and Sana are sitting on the second-hand couch at Isak’s flat working on an assignment that’s due in a month but as the nerds they are they decided to hand it in as soon as possible to be able to have time for the mountain of exams that were to come at that date. They had been at it for about an hour but Sana’s heart hasn’t really been in the task. A thousand things had been going through her mind lately and for whatever reason today is even worse.

 

“…and so I think is better if we put it in that order so that it makes more sense” Isak was saying but it was like a background sound. She doesn’t realize he’s saying something until he calls for her attention. “Hello! Earth to Sanasol” Isak says moving his hand in front of her face.

 

Sana shakes her head a little “What? Uhm yeah I agree” she says absentmindedly.

 

Isak frowns at her and narrows his eyes. “Okay…what did I say?” he asks slowly “Like, do you even know what you are agreeing to? Because I’m pretty sure you weren’t listening to me”

 

Sana frowns right back before saying “Of course I was listening _Isabell_ , you were saying that…that we need to research some more about the toxins that the plant synthetizes before writing something down” She looks at him as if saying _you think I’m dumb?_

 

“Oookay, that’s what I told you like fifteen minutes ago though” Isak says half amused half exasperated.

 

Sana looks at him with wide eyes before looking down. “Oh” is all she could say.

 

Isak is silent for a moment except for the noises he’s making on the couch while fidgeting, something he, Sana has come to learn, tends to do when he wants to ask something but doesn’t know how, because let’s face it, Isak Valtersen is not the most talkative person, at least not about feelings, so Sana just waits, silently hoping he lets it go.

 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Isak says softly, now facing her.

 

Sana only chuckles humorlessly. “You’re gonna need more than a penny though” she says in a low voice, still looking down, the frown from before still between her brows.

 

“I have all the pennies in the world so shoot” Isak says lightly, probably trying to break the tension that surely has built. That gets a little smile out Sana, even though it probably looks a bit sadder than she intended.

 

“It’s fine Isak, just...let’s finish with this thing quickly” Sana starts rearranging all the sheets of paper that’re lying on top of the coffee table, still looking down.

 

“Nope, we need a break” Isak answers.

 

“We don’t need a break; we have been working for what? An hour?” Sana raises her head to look at Isak with incredulous eyes.

 

“Exactly my point” Isak grins widely at her “Even makes me take breaks every hour, if only for five minutes, because otherwise he whines about being able to smell the smoke coming out of my ears” Isak smiles more softly now, a bit fonder at the thought of his boyfriend. That makes Sana mirror the smile because she feels really happy about her friends but it also makes her a bit sad because she wishes it were that simple for her as well.

 

“I don’t think he’s making you take enough because your brain seems pretty burnt down to me, you know…empty” Sana says with a smug face while knocking on Isak’s forehead to make her point and laughs at Isak’s offended face.

 

“How dare you!” Isak says with a dramatic hand on his chest and throws her a pen that doesn’t even pass close to her and instead gets lost somewhere on the floor behind the couch’s arm. Sana follows the pen and then looks at him with an unimpressed face.

 

“Exactly my point” Sana throws back Isak’s words at him and Isak is struggling to maintain his offended face but fails miserably when Sana starts laughing and he starts laughing as well.

 

It takes a while for their laughing to die and they both lie back a little on the cushions trying to catch their breaths. They look at each other and smile, dimples showing in both their faces. Gradually, Isak’s smile disappears and his face turns a bit more serious.

 

“You know Sana” Isak says in a low voice, “you don’t have to bottle up everything that’s on your mind, I myself know that very well, because it makes everything a thousand times worse. There’s nothing more frustrating than letting your thoughts take your whole mind and feeling like you can’t talk about it for fear of being judged by the others” Isak continues in the same tone, looking at Sana straight in the eyes.

 

Sana looks at him but doesn’t know what to say. She didn’t expect Isak to tell her that, she was actually hoping he would drop it but, hearing his words she realizes that’s exactly how she feels; that she has a hundred thoughts in her mind all day and they don’t seem to shut up. Even when praying she has been unfocused and that makes everything worse because those were the only moments she could find calm within her mind.

 

“I know I wasn’t the easiest person to be around when we first met and I know I offended you many times but,” Isak looks down and takes a breath before looking back at her again “I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you want to talk about it, or if you don’t want to talk about it. I’m here for you either way” Isak’s little smile is as sincere as his words seem to be.

 

Sana can’t help but smile back and take a deep breath.

 

“I uhm… You know, it’s just that…it’s pretty difficult to be a Muslim in Norway because the stereotypes that society has constructed for us are starting to catch up on me. I’ve been trying so hard to fit in because, yes, I am Muslim but I’m also Norwegian and anybody seems to notice that. It’s as if I can’t be both by the eyes of other people. They all just jump into conclusions about my lifestyle and assume I have to act or _feel_ a certain way when they don’t know anything about Islam or _me_ for that matter.” Sana’s words seem to flow out of her mouth once she starts talking and won’t stop “People don’t even bother to ask, like not even the girls. Vilde always overshares about her relationship with Magnus and every time I call her out for it, because dude, I don’t wanna hear what they do in bed, like I don’t think _anybody_ wants to hear that, she says I’m like… sexually frustrated because I’m a Muslim and that I can’t have sex and I’ve told her a million times that everything I do, I do it by choice but she just doesn’t understand and doesn’t bother to try either and I’ve done nothing more than stand up for her whenever someone talks shit about her. She looks at me weird every time my phone reminds me it’s time to pray. We’ve been friends for almost two years and she still looks at me like that.”

 

Sana makes a stop to catch her breath and raises her head to give Isak a tentative look in case his reaction is not a good one but all she sees in his face is understanding and he gives her a tiny nod to indicate she can continue.

 

“Even my family thinks that we don’t fit in. My brother told me that I shouldn’t be in Russ stuff because people will hate on me and ever since, I’ve been trying to get myself involved in that just to prove him wrong. I got the bus and I got to be the bus’s boss but I have a bad feeling about it. I feel like there are things the girls aren’t telling me and then I feel like crap because they are my friends and I don’t want to think about them like that, I love them but I don’t know. And because of all this shit my mom thinks I’m doing something bad behind her back and there’s this boy that I like but she doesn’t approve because she thinks he drinks and just a few weeks ago I found out he isn’t even Muslim but he’s sweet and funny and it’s so unfair and…” She tries to catch her breath again since the last part was spoken too quickly before realizing that she probably said too much. “Sorry, I’m rambling, I- You’re probably not interses-“ Sana starts again but Isak interrupts her this time holding a hand up in a stop gesture.

 

“Sana, I told you that I’m here for you, even if you talk to me for hours or a minute, I’ll listen okay?. I know it’s not the same but I know what it is to feel left out.” Isak makes a pause seemingly putting his thoughts in order as he tends to do when he’s about to say something important. “Before I came out to my friends all they talked about was girls, about hooking up with them, which one of them was hotter, which one of them was more bangable and so on and every time, I couldn’t relate. For years I tried to tell myself that not being interested in girls was okay, that maybe I was a late bloomer and that the attraction towards them would come soon enough. Time went by and attraction did come but not in the way I was hoping since it wasn’t soft curves that did it for me, but sharp edges, a little stubble and deep voices instead” Isak frowns and licks his lips before continuing “I made myself be someone fake for fear of people finding out. I got drunk and high and I made out with girls at every party to prove to everyone that I was the straightest guy there was. And I was also afraid of my mom finding out because she’s really religious and kept sending me this Bible verses about sins and Hell and I assumed she would hate me for being gay” Isak pauses to look at her “What I’m trying to say is that I get it, the feeling of not fitting in a place, even around the people you consider are the most important to you, but Sanasol, you don’t have to do stuff that you don’t really feel like doing just because the others can’t see how special you are” Isak says reaching for Sana’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

 

Sana has always been a girl that stays true to herself, to her religion and beliefs. She’s never been afraid of speaking her thoughts if there’s something she finds unfair or wrong but for some reason she’s never been able to say the things she feels about herself and that’s why she feels like she has to do stupid stuff like the Russ to fit in. Hearing Isak’s story tightens something in her chest because there’s someone else that has felt like she feels right now even if it’s not in the same way.

 

“Do you remember that time you told me about that article you read about homosexuality taking part in the Evolution?” Isak asks her, his hand yet to let go of hers. She nods. “Remember that after that I asked you about what Islam says about it?” Sana only nods again not knowing where this was going. “I asked you that because I actually wanted to know what you thought about me being gay but we weren’t really close and I didn’t know what to ask but the point is, what you told me has stuck with me ever since. That Islam says that all people are of the same worth. You gave me courage to come out to my mom, I actually kind of quoted you to her” Isak chuckles softly and Sana can’t help but smile in response, her eyes stinging a bit.

 

“Really?” Sana asks him with a trembling voice.

 

“Yeah and she… she told me she would love me no matter what “Isak replies with a fond smile on his lips. “I was too one of the many people that used to think the worst about religion, jumping into conclusions without asking first but you have made me realize that all those things were the stereotypes and generalization blinding me because, even though I’m not religious and I know next to nothing about it, there’s one thing I know” he says with a mysterious smile.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“I have this Muslim friend whose religion has made her wise but most importantly, she has a beautiful mind and a kind soul and she has become one of my best friends. She has helped me grown and I’m so grateful I left that weed at Eva’s place because it lead me to her even though she wanted to kick my ass” Isak speaks with so much fondness in his voice that Sana can’t help but let the sob that’s been building in her chest for a while go. “Maybe you know her? Not too tall, not too small, very pretty, badass, likes to blackmail people, black’s her color.” Isak says with a smirk squeezing her hand again.

 

Sana chuckles tremulously at the last part “Yeah, I think I’ve seen her around, pretty cool girl” she says with a side smirk.

 

“She really is” Isak replies now with a toothy grin decorating his face. “I think, Sanasol, that you should tell the girls how you feel. Because I know they love you, and they might not understand everything but they are your friends and I’m sure they will be willing to try. Once I told Jonas about me, everything became easier to deal with. I know the girls could show interest without you having to tell them but sometimes people need a little push to make them aware of the situation. After that, everything will keep flowing”.

 

Sana sniffles a bit and wipes the tears in her eyes before looking at her friend with a raised eyebrow. “When did you become so wise huh? Maybe your skull’s not as empty as I thought” Sana says in a teasing tone but runs her thumb on the side of Isak’s hand to let him know she’s grateful for what he’s said.

 

Isak huffs in mock offense, “What?!” I’ve always been wise Sana, you just didn’t appreciate it” He smiles in that way his eyes go really small and his double dimples make an appearance.

 

“If you say so” Sana replies rolling her red rimmed eyes. “Isak?” she says softly after a pause.

 

“Yeah?” he replies just as softly looking at her.

 

“Thank you” She doesn’t know why but her eyes fill with tears again. She blinks rapidly to avoid the tears from falling but fails. She’s just _so tired_.

 

Isak quickly realizes this and scoots a bit closer, lifting a hand to wipe her tears away with his thumb. “Hey, it’s okay, anytime, I mean it” Isak’s voice is so kind she can’t help but let her head fall against his shoulder and exhale a shaky breath. Isak pulls her closer and rubs her back soothingly.

 

They stay in that position for a while until Sana sniffles and lifts her head from her friend’s shoulder and wipes her face being careful of the makeup that’s left on her which is surely ruined by now.

 

Isak clears his throat before speaking, “Sooo, cookies and tea? Even’s dad made them and they are _very good_ ” Isak raises his eyebrows at her.

 

“Are you sure there are any left though, pig?” Sana says poking his belly making him jump.

 

Isak huffs out a breath, “Yeah, Even made sure I left some for you” he says rolling his eyes, “He threatened me with sleeping on the couch, can you believe it? This thing is tiny!,” Isak could be so dramatic sometimes, Even would never make him sleep on the couch, he’s too sweet.

 

“Well look at you, being so kind and leaving cookies for me only because you would be at risk of sleeping here” Sana said with a sarcastic smile on her face.

 

“Well, what can I say, cookies are my weakness” Isak replies with a sort of… wink? More like a blink.

 

“I would say that’s Even, but sure” Sana says lifting a perfect eyebrow.

 

“Oh, shut it” his tone playful despite the words.

 

 

Once they get the food and drinks they make their way to the couch again and eat in silence, enjoying the warm tea and delicious cookies, Isak being the first to break the peace.

 

“So… a boy huh?” He says with a lifted eyebrow.

 

Sana groans. She was hoping he didn’t catch that particular part of her rant. She sighs, resigned since she knows Isak won’t let it go now. “Yeah, he’s a friend of my brother”.

 

“Well…” he says with raised eyebrows.

 

“Well what!” Sana says rolling her eyes. She tends to do this a lot in Isak’s presence.

 

“Tell me about him!” Isak’s face says _duh._

 

“Oh for the love of… there’s nothing to say. He’s nice but he’s not a Muslim so whatever” Sana didn’t mean to snap but she didn’t want to talk about it.

 

“It’s not whatever if it puts such a sad expression on your face though, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I just hope that if something happens between the two of you, he doesn’t hurt you because I swear I’ll kick his ass” He says with a serious face. “Nobody messes with my Sanasol.”

 

She can’t help but laugh at the last part. Isak wouldn’t kill a fly even if he’s the grumpiest boy alive. She doesn’t mention this though but drops her head on Isak’s shoulder. “Thanks Isabell”.

 

Isak puts his arm over her shoulder and squeezes “Anytime” the smile clear on his voice.

 

They stay like that for a while until they hear a key turning on the knob announcing Even’s arrival.

 

“Hello?” Even calls from the hallway.

 

“We’re in the living room!” Isak calls back.

 

Even makes his presence in said place smiling “How are my two favorite people?”. He gasps when he sees the image in front of him. “Sana! You’re cheating on me with this one?” he says with a dramatic gesture; hand on his chest and wide eyes.

 

Sana grimaces, “What can I say buddy, is the curls” she says ruffling Isak’s hair to make her point.

 

“Oi!” Isak says battling her hand away making Even laugh. He looks at Isak with heart eyes before shrugging his shoulders.

 

“Yeah, I can see where you’re coming from.” Even makes his way around the couch to face them and places a lingering peck on his boyfriend’s lips. “Hi baby” he says softly.

“Hi” Isak says, melting on the couch.

 

“You two are gross, you know that, right?” Sana says mocking disgust but can’t help the fond smile that forms on her lips watching her friends. She’ll never admit it but they are her favorite couple.

 

“Oh don’t be jealous Sana! We have enough love for you as well” Even says before winking in Isak’s direction. She knows what that wink (kind of, seriously, neither of them knows how to bloody wink) means but she reacts to it too late because she’s now trapped in a group hug, squished in the middle of two giants.

 

“I hate you both” She says but hugs them back and can’t help but laugh when they do.

 

She’s glad she talked to Isak. She feels lighter than she’s felt in forever and she’s glad she could find comfort in these amazing people.

.


End file.
